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27 October 2011, Rainy.

Walking in the rain, listening to your favorite piece. It doesn't matter how long  does it take, it doesn't matter what's gonna happen in between, it really don't. It will all be worth when you're back. My mind is so filled up, filled up with us, too much of us, I can't even feel how heavy the rain was. My whole body was drenched and I thought that it was only drizzling. I've no idea where am I going, I walked on and on aimlessly/

After a long walk, I stopped at the same place, the place where there was us. My mind started rewinding, the scenes flashed out like a playback, I felt that I've saw everything, but I can no longer feel you. Where are you? Are you there? I miss you. I've been holding on to myself, struggling with my everyday life, hoping that you would come back to me. I tried with all of what I could, I tried not to break down. But it always happen whenever I passed somewhere where we used to be , or if I see you. I don't know what I am now, I kept searching for you, but I don't want to see you. What is wrong with me ?

The same old song kept replaying inside my mind, the same scene comes into my mind over and over again. No, I don't want to be mentally ill, no I'm not. I just need you.